Fruit Roll-Ups: A Sticky Relationship

October 1, 2010

It was a low moment during our August deadline when I found myself, closer to 30 than 20, licking a square of blue ink off of the surface of a red fruit roll up, only to reveal yet another layer of ink embedded in sugar with the “Double Dare” suggestion that I wear a chicken suit to school.

But there is a point during some deadlines when sensible life-choices fall by the wayside and indulgences become the fuel of late nights. I have always had a soft spot for fruit roll-ups. In grade school, if it was possible to negotiate one away from a classmate in exchange for a healthier (and lovingly sliced, I am sure, by my fellow blog-mate) lunch item, it would be a good day. There is just something about that artificial, plasticy-smooth, finger-staining film that I cannot resist until the box is empty and my entire intestinal tract is stained blue.

So, when I discovered Simply fruit roll-ups at Target after one of these weakness-induced binges, it was probably – literally – a life-saver. They actually have fruit in them, for one thing. They’re also good. They taste like, well, dried fruit mainly. And they don’t stain you, which is always comforting.

That said, while searching for a photo to attach to this post, all the Simply fruit roll-up images were pretty boring, but I did come across this gem: a western shirt made entirely of original flavor fruit roll-ups. I am already trying to think of a reason why I would need to make something like this. Can’t you imagine how satisfying it would feel to punch those rhinestone snaps up the center strawberry placket. *sigh* Upon some reflection, I wonder if it is possible that fruit roll-ups have just been misclassified for generations – that they have always been more craft material than food item…